Saturday, January 10, 2015

I Have NO Problem Assessing Another Person's Character...or Lack of It!

I have no problem issuing statements. 
Declaring my assessment of another’s person’s character is actually quite easy.  “He is mean.”   “She is judgmental.”  “He is lazy.” “She is a gossip.”  Such statements can be even more specific.  “He is exclusive and not inclusive in his relationships with people.”  “She resents people that have obtained advanced degrees.”  I can assess a person’s character in a matter of seconds by stating what certainly appears to be obvious.

I often experience great difficulty asking questions.
How am I mean to other people?  In particular, how have I been mean to the person that I perceive to be that way?  In what situations do I find myself being judgmental? When am I lazy?  What triggers me to gossip about another person?  When was the last time I excluded another person from my social circle?  In what ways do I resent people that have enjoyed experiences that I somehow missed in life?

Questions should precede statements.
There is a time to make statements.  There are times to be honest and say: that person needs to learn a few lessons about being socially inclusive. But I think the character assessment of another person will be more constructive if questions precede statements.  Self-evaluation has a way of removing smugness.  Asking the hard questions peels the layers of pride away.

Am I too late for a resolution?
We are already ten days into a new year.  Is it too late to express a New Year’s resolution?  I hope not!   I have just resolved to ask more questions and issue fewer premature statements that malign another person’s character.  I am anxious to see how that will transform some attitudes that really need to change. 

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