Thursday, January 3, 2013

I Will Give You a Piece of My.....A Piece of My What?

I will give you a piece of my mind… in a New York minute.  Communicating interpersonally in a manner that lacks tact is one of my longtime failings. I am blunt to a fault. My sweet little bride tells me that I get my fists up verbally. I have attempted to take some corrective measures over the years, but I have found another flaw in the process.

In the process of evading communication that is a little too direct, I have avoided saying things that really need to be said. If a dear friend is making poor life choices, I need to say something.  I have an obligation of love. As I have averted the verbal road to bluntness, I have discovered that avoidance is a smooth and fast highway. The avoidance highway has no bumps or dangerous curves. (Or at least it appears that way.)  Appearances of course are deceiving.

Avoidance is every bit as destructive as being overly blunt in approaching people. Unhealthy situations are never addressed. There is no catalyst that can set needed change in motion.  Informal life coaching is factored out. And of course the grievous temptation is to talk about someone instead of to them.
Is there a balance?  I believe there is a proper blend of direct communication that is tempered by a compassionate heart.

I will give you a piece of my heart…in a New York minute.  I will choose to care about you so much that I will give you a piece of my own heart.  If I am concerned about you, I will choose to express such concerns in a loving manner. Be patient with me. I may stumble around with my words. I might even shed a tear. But I won’t be rude.  My words will be spoken in the gentlest way possible. Be patient with me.  I am very accustomed to giving people a piece of my mind. This whole idea of giving a piece of my heart is really quite new.

My verbal fists are slowly coming down.  I am learning to extend verbal embraces instead. I know such a choice is the right highway to be on. It is one that leads to peace, reconciliation, and meaningful change.  It is not a highway that runs relationships into a ditch or causes wrecks later because of avoidance. My choice is to give people a piece of my heart…in a New York minute. How about you?

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